You & I

I knew myself that I am a moody person, that I can never control my temper as well as my words. Yet after some time when I had calmed down, this sense of guiltiness would just creep into my heart.  By then, I knew I have something to explain yet I swallowed them, as I was afraid that everything might turn even worse than before.I apologized if I ever had done something that hurts you. 

I just hope that you would know, that I actually cherish every little moment being with you, as I treasure our friendships between us. And, I hope that nothing will change after every small row or big argument between you and I. I miss you my friend... 

:'(

Time flies,

From that day that you all arrived,

Everything just passed so rapidly,

As if there are only 12 hours in a day.

I was hoping that my holiday would't arrive forever, 

Because that means that you all are going to return soon,

I am afraid, as I don't want to return to the life before you arrived,

I don't want to return to normal.

And so it arrived, so fast,

Without me knowing, 

My holiday life was even faster, especially when you all are around me,

In the train, I was actually crying in my hearts while you both are sleeping.

Looking back to our pictures,

I realised that the three of us had so little pictures together,

Now, I am regretting,

Yet, useless.

And so, our Switzerland trip has ended,

Again, so fast,

We went shopping together, 

We drove to Tours together,

You said that you want to eat that ice cream that we had in Tours,

But the whole centre ville was so empty, 

Shops were closed, people were staying at home,

And I realised it's Sunday,

Bloody Sunday！

I have no more chance to let you all taste the ice cream anymore,

Sorry, 

This is the other regret that I have now,

That night, I asked you all to don't sleep, 

But at last I saw that you both were really tired,

So you all slept, and still, I refused to sleep.

The very next morning,

I watched you both packing up,

Brushing teeth, eating breakfast, 

And I knew everything has ended,

The night before I promised myself to take a picture with you all before you all left, 

Yet the stupid me has forgotten.

The moment when I heard the starting of the car engine from my balcony broke my tears,

The car passed by my balcony, and I saw you crying too,

You waved to me and asked me to go inside, scared that I would catch a cold,

I really wanted to tell you that I don't want to be here anymore.

And now, its the 3rd day after you all left,

I am still feeling so lost, so lonely, and so empty,

I don't feel like doing anything,

I can just temporarily forget all this feeling y immersing myself into the dramas,

I felt myself completely useless...

I am crying,

At this moment, I really feel like giving up everything just to see you all again,

But, can I?

I miss you...

。。。

很多时候都猜不透你心里的想法,
很多时候都觉得是自己一厢情愿,
很多时候都很想问你,
很都时候却咬着了舌头不敢说出来。。。

我不知道你知不知道我有多重视你,
但我希望你知道。。。


没办法,自己唯有学会坚强了。。。

无奈

即使自己多坚强，也总会有自己最脆弱的一面，渴望你的呵护，你的拥抱。。。而这个你，到底在何方，而你我，又何时才可遇见？

False hope appears when everyone says that you can make it, yet the fact is the other way round...

Happy Dream, Disappointing Fact

I was with my mum, eating my favorite Hokkien Mee in Taman Sejati,
I was with my friends, my ex-colleagues, in YCT jewelry shop at Amanjaya Mall,
I was with my ex-employer, who was in delight to see me, and he had asked me to arrange a time for a dinner together,
I was with my very best friends, eating together,
I was at home, relaxing on the sofa, watching whole day my favorite TVB series,
I was sitting on the small yet familiar dining table, in my old place where my mum is on my left, dad on the right, and my bro opposite me, we were eating and chatting and laughing,
I was laying lazily on the big bed in my warm and cozy room, the bed sheet was my favorite one, beige with tiny purple flowers with lace lining, the big wood wardrobe on my right, my study table just opposite me, and the large and clear mirror above my dressing table which is on the right of my study table,
I was daydreaming with my eyes gazing out the window at the garden, enjoying looking at the greenish and lively grass, the blueish and whitish sky above the roof, the yellowish and golden soil land behind the fence, everything was so warm, and normal...
I was worried in my heart that everything would disappear soon, after returning to France,
I was even thinking of never to return to that country anymore, though it is pretty, but still unfamiliar,

Yet, the noise of my neighbour skyping so loudly that I opened my eyes, and I was still here, curling in my small single bed, beige colour walls around this small room,
I realised that there was nothing for me to worry about, as all those had never exist, they were merely in my dream, yeah, merely a dream...

And my tears rolled down my cheeks...

遥远的梦

每个人都拥有梦想，有的已经实现了自己的梦想，有的拼搏了几个世纪都无法实现自己的愿望，到底我那小小却遥远的愿望，我何时才能实现到呢？

今晚，恭喜你们实现了自己的梦想，也希望我未来有一天也可以像你们如此风光，达到自己自小的愿望。