I Hate Myself !

Great! I hate you, Crystal!!!!!!!

Hate you hate you hate you!
What's for being so choosy?
What's for growing such huge enthusiasm into that movie?
What's wrong with CarsII?

Stupid me!
Letting him become so furious because of one movie!
Why? Why cares about which movie we are going to watch?

When I finally compromise he was already so angry, and had already gave up!
Serves you right, CRYSTAL!!!

Guilt Crept In Me...Sorry My Friend

Sorry, I have to confess to my friend, Joey. I am really so sorry that I came late to school today, causing you so much trouble...I hope you can forgive me as my mum's alarm clock ran out of battery today, and we ended up waking at 6.42am. I know its my fault and my responsibility, I am really really sorry. It was truly me to be blamed. However, I hope you could forgive me and still accept me as one of your chums. The hurt and guilt was incredibly extreme when the idea that what I've made struck into me.  Hmm, maybe I was sensitive (which I really hope I was), can you please don't left me out in everything you all are doing? I know this is my fault, but everyone owns a second chance, right? As just now I saw u and Ze Ying discussing with teacher, I can feel that there's something on and you all are keeping it out from me. Please, tell me if I am just too sensitive. :'(

11.11.2010

11th November 2010, this particular day changed my life. Although it was distance ago, time doesn't manage to sweep away those memory.

It was hard to describe that feeling, not that I have forgotten it, it was just those who experienced it will know. Haha, I remembered clearly that I phoned my best friend, ZeYing on that day, after he asked me. ZeYing is a good friend, I must say, as she gave me advice and provided me some details about this guy (which I don't know how she managed to get them.) After all, I ignored them and so, my life changed...

Frankly, I wasn't sure about my feelings during that time. I was pretty sure there wasn't any love between us, but what made me accepted him? Still, it does not matter now as I am sure I am pretty in love with this guy.

However, thing's changed which I did not realised they would. Because of love, I become unaware of how time flies. Besides sleeping, bathing, eating and schooling, basically, my hand will be holding my handphone, typing messages and waiting for his reply. Argh, I can't resist to control myself though I had tried myself not to. Is it normal?

As love comes, friendship goes. Yes, I can feel it and I know that;s my fault as now I spend most of my time with him, always neglecting all of my good friends. Is it normal?

Haiz... Maybe that's what life is. You can't lead a perfect one, right?

There's a sense of guilt now, for typing out this post. But, no matter how, there's no turning back, because I don't want to. Till now, I never regret for the decision I've made 9 month ago. 11.11.10, the date I shall remember forever...(If there really is forever)  :-)